q-tips, kleenexes, and cokes.

Shopping lists across the country are full of brand-name misnomers.  In my childhood home, a person in need of a tissue seldom requested anything but a "kleenex," despite the fact that Kleenex brand tissues never once occupied our coffee tables or nightstands.  Thirsty people across the southern United States frequently ask for a "coke," when all that they really want is a soft drink of some kind.  Dixie cups, Saran Wrap, and Ziplock bags all enjoy a similar fame.  I'm not sure how a product achieves such a status that its brand name completely overtakes those of all similar products.  It's like some kind of dialectical White-Out, or correctional fluid, I guess. However, most people think nothing of buying "facial tissues," or "kitchen zipper bags," and most of the time the product package is the only notable difference.  I mean, when was the last time you called an adhesive bandage anything other than a Band-Aid? And more importantly, when was the last time it mattered to your bleeding cut whether or not it came from a Johnson & Johnson Band-Aid box?

But there is one product that undoubtedly deserves the definitive name dominance that it has received:  The Q-tip.  I refuse to purchase any sort of inferior generic cotton swab - and in my experience, they are all inferior. They are not simply generic alternatives to Q-tips.  They are an entirely different product with an entirely different set of uses which are more or less limited to scratching your ear drum and filling your trash can with three times as many swabs as you would be using if you just bought Q-tips in the first place.

Too many times have I been stabbed in the ear by a flimsy piece of plastic with some whispered suggestion of cotton at the tip.  Trying to clean your ears with one of these alleged "swabs" is like poking a coffee stir into your ear canal.  In fact, if you're that desperate to save the money, it would probably be cheaper (and just as effective) to buy the coffee stirs.  Better yet, you could snatch them by the handful from you local convenience store. For heavier duty cleaning, you might be better off using one of those crossbred spoon-straws that are necessary for enjoying an Icee, or Slushie, or Slurpie, or... whatever frozen beverage you choose.